Experiencing God- Journey with me

I have hesitated posting this, but have decided to do so with hope that maybe someone else can benefit...Over the past couple of years I have had an idea placed on my heart (those of you know know me well..know this is not a rarity lol ). Anyways, the point is that I have become a champ at pushing this idea into the farthest, dustiest corner of my brain hoping it to never return. You see, the idea is completely out of my comfort zone, out of my area of expertise and will provide zero financial benefit to us (something that we really need right now and just to put it plainly it is much bigger than me. As thoughts have come and gone, I keep finding the same question coming to mind-"How could this possibly be where God is leading?"
Since I was a little girl, I have always known that God had extraordinary plans for my life. This is not meant to be an arrogant statement at all. I  believe that He has extraordinary plans for all of us! I didn't know how, but I knew one day it was going to happen.  I will tell you that through the years of struggle, pain and disappointment I have used that belief to fuel the wrong avenues....realizing now that I was trying to fix our circumstance when in reality that was never His plan....He is our solutions, our life boat our Savior.
About two months ago the "idea" resurfaced and after a lot of prayer and reflection it has become very clear that I am being called in a very clear way. However, my human nature could not fathom the task...I felt so inadequate.  A couple of weeks ago...I was sitting on the couch after a long day, tired as ever...Sam was working late and all I wanted to do was sit with a glass of wine in hand and watch my favorite shows and zone out. I felt God calling me to turn everything off and sit with Him. Did I obey? sadly no. This prompting continued for a couple of days.....on the third day I obeyed (not with a very happy heart). I got out my Bible and my laptop and begrudgingly began to read and write. I soon became lost in His voice- One hour later I had written 8 weeks of content. I sat back in complete awe. Something became very clear to me that evening...these are not my words, but His. I am just the vessel to complete this work, but it is much bigger than me..this is His love story. In a recent bible study lesson it was stated that when God calls on you, He is ready for your immediate obedience and that he will shape your character to meet the challenge.  This has become so clear to me.  I have struggled since then with doubt and fear which has kept me from making progress, but I learned from the first time that when He calls...you must answer and obey...which leads me to the other night. Once again I felt a strong prompting to spend some time with Him. I sat with Him again and the most amazing thing happened..... I wrote the outline for 10 months of content.  He is speaking so clearly to me and making it known that I have been called to this place.
The story still continues... this journey is not complete, but I am writing this to let you know that when you feel like you are inadequate, struggling for purpose, unsure as to how you will be used. Take hope, Jesus is perfectly weaving your destiny...His plan for your life will become known in his time. I will continue to write about this journey as God prompts me to. Till then rest in knowing that you are far more valuable and purposeful than anything you could ever imagine.

" God will accomplish more in six months through a people yielded to Him than we could do in 60 years without Him." Experiencing God 

xo,

Sarah